October: First Sequence

October was a month of networking events and work volatility, of celebrations of fall and friends. Let us join hands and explore this road together.
Mixing and mingling and people getting wasted

It started out with Digital DUMBO, a monthly open bar event in DUMBO where tech companies show off their latest swag and host an open bar. I went with my Euro pals Lissy and Steve McQueen. Afterwards we talked type faces at Grimaldi’s. This is what advertising people do: we network, then we talk about fonts and technology like we’re still in college, and people pay us for it. Astonishing.
Lissy and Steve taking pictures during our walk under the Brooklyn Bridge

At the event, Lissy convinced me to go check out the IBM Think exhibit at the Met. I agreed if she agreed to come with me to see Diane Wolkstein's storytelling session at the Scandinavia House beforehand. She agreed, and Brooke tagged along. Diane told some Hans Christian Anderson stories, and then joined us for a little while for brunch at the fantastic restaurant downstairs.
The restaurant of the Scandinavia House, complete with it's own tree

After some window shopping and hair wrapping, we finally found the Think exhibit, which was (naturally) a glorified commercial for IBM's latest technology.
It was a room with gigantic high def tough screens that showed movies of how computers were pushing innovation, then it allowed users to interact with the various features to learn more. As I was in the middle of working on an iPad application, I was actually pretty interested in the organization and interface of the touchscreens, so the promotional aspect didn't bother me.
Brooke and Lissy, just chilling you know girl

On October 5th, Lissy and I once again reunited for Ad Week’s Microsoft party, where she had gotten VIP tickets. Before hand, we ate at Rosa Mexicana, where we heard about Steve Job’s death. That put a bit of a pallor over the whole evening, because Lissy was a genuine Jobs devotee, and considered his death to be a true tragedy.
The very ornate wall of cliff divers at Rosa Mexicana

The Microsoft party was in Terminal 5, and everyone in attendance was quite obviously Very Important and believed themselves to be Very Important. Also young—so young. At 30 I was one of the old timer’s in the room. I thought it was a great tribute to Jobs that the photobooth Microsoft was running used Apple hardware. Microsoft didn’t skimp, and offered another open bar, which was mostly useless for me. TV on the Radio played a set, which I liked. I wasn’t crazy about their older stuff, but their newer stuff has a great vibe, and they put on an energetic show.
TV on the Radio, rocking out at Ad Week 2011

Thursday, the pharma company my agency works for wiped out their entire marketing department, and I found myself facing the possibility of being jobless at Thanksgiving. I can’t go into the details, but you can read about some of the drama on this message board.

I spent the next month floating around the office with nothing to do. I realized how much pride I took in my job, how much I felt I had accomplished something great by clawing my way to a well-paying advertising job in New York. Facing the possibility of losing that job, my accomplishments seemed very small and unsubstantial. Which, of course, they are in the grand scheme of things, but it was a surprising blow to my self-esteem. It’s one thing to have your life’s love leave you—it’s another thing to be left and lose your job in the same year. It makes you feel like everything is slipping away.

To console ourselves, our team went out for a final lunch together at Ruby Foo's. It was nice, though none of us were sure what to say
I went home that Friday. Saturday morning I met with my high school BFF Bonnie at Kathleen’s Art Café near her work. She’s just the sweetest, most wonderful person and we talked a lot about our successes and disappointments over the last few months. I came to her work for an hour and hung out by the embroidery thread while she introduced me to the Vampire Diary Photo Recaps.
Hanging out with the ladies at the embroidery store

Met with Dad, Julia, Jordan, and Zach at Mi Cocina for lunch, then saw the truly horrendous “Abduction” because my dad HAD TO SEE A MOVIE and that’s all there was. And believe me, I wish I hadn’t.
With my incredibly cool siblings at Mi Cocina

Went to church with my parents on the 9th and joined them, mistakenly, in their Family Relationships class, which is meant to strengthen marriages. The teacher was saying something about how men and women’s brains are different and so that’s why we need different things, but the guys in the class took that as free reign to point out why they shouldn’t pitch in with housework or talk to their wives about their feelings. So of course I had to jump in by pointing out that most of those biological changes can be changed with a few minutes of coaching (in some cases), and that we are much more malleable to nurture than we think we are. Afterwards mom said that I intimidated everyone. Sick of being told this I asked her to elaborate, and she said “I didn’t get it either until I heard you speak, and I noticed that people just get freaked out. You’re so confident that other people don’t know what to do.”
Julia, in town and in charge for my Dallas visit

Monday the 10th I went to IHOP with my family and bought some arrows so I could help Zach with his Eagle Scout certification. I could not even believe how much my archery skills have deteriorated since high school. If I ever get a real house, I am setting up a target in the back yard. This is ridiculous.

Before heading to the airport, I asked for a prescription for antidepressants, the first time I’ve asked since 2005. The job situation had taken me to a very black space, and I found it impossible to crawl out from under it, no matter how much I tried.

From Thurs October 13th-Monday 17th, Anna O. came into town with a whirl of energy. Friday she picked me up at work, and we went down to DUMBO to see Karen O’s digital/rock opera Stop the Virgens.
Somewhere between a rock concert, Japanese kabuki, performance art, and Germanic opera, Stop the Virgens was unlike anything I had really experienced before.
Karen O, doing it like she does it best

A semi-autobiographical story of growing up, Karen served as sort of a playwrite, with a Greek chorus of blonde wigged girls acting out moments from her childhood and her development as an artist in front of an ever-changing stage decorated with screens and digital projections.
I found the whole thing very powerful, and even teared up at the end when the little girls fell down, blood hemorrhaging from their mouths and chests.
You can read a review of the spectacle here.

Afterwards Anna and I wandered over to the Origin installation across the street.
Built as part of the Creator’s Project by United Visual Artists, the UVA crew used a series of pressure and infared signals to trigger digital music and light displays.

“A multi-disciplinary collective from the UK, UVA can best be described as “architects of light and sound,” creating colossal interactive installations and sets for live performance that have the power to attract and captivate audiences like moths to the proverbial flame….For our New York event in DUMBO this weekend, UVA will debut Origin, their latest large-scale responsive LED sculpture. At 10 metres wide and 10 metres high, it’s the largest responsive work they’ve created thus far. Taking inspiration from UVA’s previous monumental site-specific works like Monolith, Tryptich and Volume, they’ve created a giant cubic structure that is simple in form but still manages to create a powerful ‘otherworldly’, ‘alien’ or ‘god-like’ presence. Calling to mind images of Mecca and the Tower of Babel, the group hopes to capture the energy and diversity of NYC in the experience.”

I found the hum strangely enchanting, and Anna and I laid down in the middle of the sculpture and just listed to the pulses and hums for half an hour.

Saturday, I needed me some city detoxing, so Brooke, Anna, and my roommate Veronica all hopped on the Metro North to check out the Wilken’s Fruit Farm. Located near the Croton-Hamon stop, we took a taxi through some of the most peaceful and beautiful forests I had seen in a long time. It reminded me a lot of Vermont, with changing leaves and silvery lakes.
It be apple-picking time

It had just rained the day before, so the farm was a bit chillier than we had expected. Still, we warmed up at the café with hot apple cider and fresh-off-the-fryer apple doughnuts.
JLZ?

The ground was muddy, so we ended up getting more dirty than we wanted to as we tramped through long grasses and orchards, picking the last of the season’s apples.
As you can expect, there were shenanigans.
Re-enacting the infamous scene in Footloose. I need a hero!

Monday Anna leaves, and on Tuesday the 18th Benjamin arrives. Having broken up with his fiancée earlier in the year, we had a lot of similar bruises to compare. He was planning on coming up to New York for the World Inferno’s Hallowmas spectacle, and since he was between jobs, I told him he could come up earlier and house-husband for me. My dinner isn’t going to make itself, obvs.

Benjamin’s presence is always restorative. He is very positive and physically affectionate, and uncomplicated in his wishes and wants. We spent a large amount of his visit just watching things and eating pizza, which is about all I could do after work
Benjamin, in one of the 2 shirts he brought for his fortnight stay

Work started going better, as I was picked up by a new team and given all sorts of nice perks and additional responsibilities (and a new office! With real walls! Only without a door. But progress!). I talked to my HR head about being transferred to Europe, and she said I could submit my paper work as soon as I wanted. I was immediately overtaken with a kind of cold feeling, which I am still trying to sort out. Usually when I’ve made a right decision about something I feel completely calm and almost passive, or at least very calm with a buzzing nervous energy. This felt very prickly, angular—I’m still sorting out if it’s my childhood aversion to moving, or something more spiritual that’s at the root of this anxiety. Until I sort it out, I’m staying put for the time being.
This is Arturo.

Friday the 21st was Arturo’s 40th birthday at the Norwood. Arturo was my project manager—an incredibly organized, hyper competent, kind, funny, and stylish man who I happened to adore. His partner Andy was a member of the Norwood, a super fancy cultural country club that has members like Gwyneth Paltrow, and the Norwood had condescended to allow Arturo to celebrate in its hallowed halls. Recognizing that this would be my only opportunity to ever set foot in the Norwood, I was psyched to go.
The bar at the Norwood

Before the party, my coworker Samantha had her husband Fourth meet up with Benjamin and I at work, and we all headed over to 33rd street to grab some Indian food. When the restaurant I had picked turned out to have no tables, we jumped across the street for some pub food. I always thought of myself as a very good, supportive girlfriend, but watching Sam and her husband, it became clear to me why I’m not a particularly heteronormative or feminine girlfriend. She deferred to him to order or to tell a story, was constantly saying little things to make him feel more masculine or more powerful. She never joked with him or teased him at his expense. It was very odd to watch, because I had only seen work Sam—bossy, brash, confident, and very much The Star. But when out as a couple, she made sure her husband got the attention from the group. This is not in anyway a criticism, just peculiar to me, and I went away very reflexive.
The design inside was very eclectic--old-school architecture with all sorts of modern art pieces (though you can't tell from this photo)

The Norwood of course, was a thrilling success. Wonderful food, wonderful drinks, all my friends from work, beautiful art, and great conversation. As is usual whenever I take him out, everytime I left the room Benjamin would be swarmed by men and women trying to cajole him into bed. I cannot take that boy anywhere.
Andy had hired the drag star Hedda Lettuce to perform. Drag stars are always kind of my bag—mouthy and dirty and irreverent, and poor Arturo bore the brunt of the roasting.
Arturo taking a beating

But afterwards, Andy made things better by asking Arturo to marry him in a surprise proposal.
The proposal is accepted.

None of us saw it coming, and we were all absolutely thrilled. The two of them have had such sadness in their lives, and they really deserve the happiness and stability of a lifetime together.

The next morning, continuing the celebration of fall, Brooke and I took a bus upstate to Cornwall for a visit to Storm King.
Me at the observation deck

Ah, Storm King—the Field of Dreams for contemporary and modern sculpture. Founded in 1960 by Ralph E. Ogden, Storm King is an open-air museum on 500 acres of beautiful Hudson Valley hills and vales. A few of the sculptures are hidden on hiking trails, and visitors are allowed to hike in the forests surrounding the park.
Darrell Petit's Kiss

Outside of the usual Calders and Serras, there were some wonderful, unique pieces like a mirrored picket fence or a multi-lensed telescope. One piece that I very much enjoyed was Mark di Suvero’s “Beethoven’s Quartet”; a ram’s head of a bell suspended over a lone mallet.
Visitors could take the mallet and bang away at the bell, producing various warm tones. They notes would hang in the air like lambs wool.
Alyson Shotz's telescope

When Brooke and I weren’t looking at the sculptures, which were breathtaking, we were hiking in the forests.
We took off our shoes and soaked them in a creek then took naps on the flat rocks, hair tangled in the roots of new trees.