I've had a reoccuring dream for two nights in a row. Different times, same place. A hotel by the beach. On a cliff. Rocks down below, black, like jagged teeth in the white spit surf. I'm looking for a boy. Black hair. I've seen him before. I find him in a cafe. I'm too nervous to talk. He is supposed to leave in the afternoon. I run all over the hotel lobby and find him at the same cafe. This time I ask him to marry me. He looks at me and smiles. We run into the ocean fully clothed.

I dreamt about you once too. I couldn't find you. I looked everywhere---in the apartment building and the dorms and the hotel our parents were staying out. People kept wanting to congratulate me on graduation, but I had a paper due and I wanted to find you before I had to leave, but I never could. I ended up tripping and tearing through some thin banner, falling to death on the tiles below.

3 nights ago I became a missionary in Scotland. I don't know if that was a nightmare or a vision.

I woke up to find that I was where I have always stood. I ran, but no action was ever taken. And so someone dies, every night, reborn every day. Reborn. Hmmmm.No action taken, no birth is possible. You will be given space to breath. The distance from earth to the nearest star has enough matter to fill one testtube. Enjoy it.

I no longer expect the extraordinary. I expect death and ambivolence, the same things I expect from everyone else.