even my melodrama is unspectacular. fade in, fade out.

Now that I'm fairly certain that I'm not dropping out of school, I don't have to worry about money so much. I spent most of the morning fixating on my post-drop-out life of unglamorous poverty. I planned where I would get a job, how I'd find an apartment, how I'd get from apartment to job. I guess I'm not doing that now, but don't think I couldn't. I can and will if conditions necessitate.

I hate being misunderstood. I promise this is the last thing I'll say on the subject: I'm not going to live in fear of disappointing others' expectations of me, in fear of not graduating from college. I'd like to graduate, but not as much as I'd like to have my dignity. If maintaining my dignity necessitates me not graduating from college, then so be it. I am quite seriously not for sale.

things that are rad
-Mary Jones, for buying me ramen and poprocks and coke and lending me her Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack, and caring about me on my bad day.
-Playing guitar with Mark. We are going to rock effing hard. I feel so inspired and motivated to put my effort into this new "band". We are already ace, and we've had one rehearsal. My hopes for this project are high.